Noticias

Office Christmas parties from our teacher's Emma's point of view. Read our December article.

The work Christmas party either fills you with total dread, or is something you spend the months leading up to meticulously planning your outfit for, thinking up new cringe-worthy games to play or even planning who you're going to sit next to at dinner! Whatever company you work for, there are always the same familiar characters that seem to come out at annual christmas celebrations. Here’s a rundown of some of the most notorious sorts you're bound to see at your party this festive season.

The Surprise Party Animal

This person really surprises fellow colleagues by having a complete personality makeover after the free bar opens and comes alive on the dancefloor. They’ve barely cracked a smile or offered you any coffee machine small talk all year, but now they’re rubbing shoulders with everyone from secretaries to the big boss and cracking jokes round the dinner table.

The One-Too-Many

Or ten too many! This person is not just drunk, but way more drunk than anyone else and before decisions have even been made between the beef or seabass! Don’t let it be you, because the next day you will wake up with the worst fear of your entire life. The worst.

The Corner Trapper

It’s your own fault really; you politely wish this one a merry Christmas and end up getting trapped in a corner being talked at. They have you in the perfect position to ramble on and on about their cats, heating bills or how they’ve switched from dairy to almond milk. You’ll need a buffer to get rid of this sort - introduce them to anyone (yes anyone) who walks past, turn around and don’t look back!

The Office Crush

You’ve waited all year to be in a social situation with this person and the time has finally come. You may have only spoken to him or her a handful of times, but that doesn’t mean you don’t know their working hours, how they drink their tea and what they bring in their Tupperware for lunch! This is your moment to approach them on less formal terms - but remember you will have to see them again come January so read the signs very carefully and don’t over-do the ‘Dutch courage’!

The Secret Spiller

You didn’t even ask, but are now on the receiving end of some serious #tmi. Paired with the fact this oversharer is on a whole other level of merry to you, this situation has reached whole new levels of awkwardness. Best way to handle this one is to listen and not egg them on too much- they’ll soon find someone else to retell the same secrets to.

The Sleazy Santa

A.k.a The Mistletoe Lurker, this colleague thinks it’s ok to be way too friendly around the holiday season whether they’re married, hitting retirement or the worst of all - a boozy boss of yours. Best thing to do is to stick in groups and avoid any mistletoe!

The ‘Who-Are-You-Again’

You are almost certain that you have never seen this person at your workplace before. Yet somehow they are at the Christmas party, and not as someone’s plus one. Some people seem to know them - but you don’t. Could they be new? Unless you’re certain, it’s probably best to avoid them otherwise you risk a very awkward conversation.

The Emotional Wreck

No festive occasion passes without this person getting into a tearful mess over something so insignificant they won’t remember come morning. It is most likely triggered from gin or cheap table wine, so be ready to offer them a tissue and slip away - an “oh my god I love this song” while running for the dance floor usually works!

The dancer

There’s always one. High on the holiday fumes and uplifting cheesy music, the dancer is likely to produce the most dangerous and self-destructive weapons of all, ‘the moves.’ Paired with some 5 inch heels they haven’t quite learnt how to ‘jump up jump up and get down’ in, this really is a recipe for festive disaster.

The Vanisher

To the untrained eye, this partygoer will look no different to the others, usually mingling with colleagues, chatting and dancing. However, under their merry facade lies one solitary plan, the escape.  To avoid suspicion, the vanisher will usually slip out of the party under the pretence of grabbing another drink or heading to the toilet, never to return. Warning signs: frequent phone checking, clock watching and a refusal to leave their jacket or bag out of sight.